This post was originally written in 2008, I am reposting it with some updates that reflect how we have used delegation in our family as all of the kids have matured, and increased! I now have 6 children and two grandchildren.
I received an email from a mom who is a writer (books) and is on a very tight budget. She has 4 children, ages 7-12. Here is the crux of her question: ”
How do you make it all work. I LOVE the house to look good and everything feels so great when it’s in order but boy where do you find the time to do it all. What does it look like? Thank you for your time.”
This is a continuous struggle for all the busy moms I know- You are not alone! . One of the things I had to realize was that the BEST way to delegate is to delegate chores to the youngest possible child for each chore. I have to constantly re-ask myself whether I am letting the youngest possible child do a chore. Let me explain this a little. As a business owner, I need to spend a little time on the business each day. If, instead I am doing the dishes, doing the laundry, and dusting baseboards, I could never get to the more difficult work that ONLY I can do. So, I try to delegate tasks that others can do right to them. So, [EIGHT YEARS AGO!!] Sarah (10) and Anne Mary (8) for the past year have done one load of laundry per day. It is part of their routines. I can do it faster. I can fold clothes better, but even if it takes them 20 more minutes than it does me, my time is better spent taking care of things that *only* I can do. I also have delegated dishes. I should not spend 20 minutes unloading and reloading the dishwasher if I have unpaid bills that are going to be late. My daughters are perfectly capable of doing dishes. Now, occasionally I am needed for this chore. If a pan is particularly hard or something is very fragile, I may just do it, or take a few extra minutes to train the girls on it. But that should not be a typical part of my daily routine.
[UPDATE: The girls are now 18 and 15, plus we have added David – 11, Daniel-6 and Rebecca-3 to the chore regimens, and Christina is grown and moved!]
So, I look at every task that I am doing and make sure it really is the best use of my time. There are very few chores that only I can do around the house. Anything with bleach is reserved for me (for obvious reasons). Major cooking and meal planning and finance related matters are all me. There really is very little else that they cannot do. The trick is to train them systematically to do these chores.
[Now our system works this way: One child is fully responsible for all aspects of a chore. For example, David (11) does ALL Kitchen duties except for cooking and mopping all day, every day. Sarah (18) did all the laundry. Anne 915 had the biggest school load, she was my floater – which means anything I tell her to do each day, she did. Then I could adjust it around her school load. For the summer, Sarah is working 30 hours a week, and Anne took off of school, so Sarah is now the floater and Anne took over kitchen, giving David a break. He shifted to doing all laundry duties. That is quite a lot of work for a boy his age, so we all help from time to time by switching loads and such if he is out playing with friends.
Daniel (6) does all the laundry gathering and unloads and reloads the dishwasher once per day (We run it two to three times per day). Rebecca does trash duty and keeps her room tidy. At age 3, she also loves to help dust, etc]
Another big part is to control your own attitude about the work, in order that they will have the right attitude about work. If you grumble, moan and complain about it, they will too. If you do your work joyfully, they will as well. This takes a lot of practice and self-control, and if your children are already in bad habits, may take some training as well.
So, you asked “How does it look” and here is how the day is going (for now). Sarah (10) sets her alarm and gets up at 7:30. She gets up, makes her bed and gets dressed, then eats breakfast, unloads the dishwasher. Usually David (3)talks her into giving him a snack (since his breakfast is over by then). Then, she goes to her morning chores. She will straighten her room. She will brush teeth, finish grooming, and starts a load of laundry (if there is any). She sets her timer for one hour and works on the most pressing school work. most days, this is Bible and math. Then, when her timer beeps, she switches the laundry, folds it and puts it away, then goes back to school work.
Anne Mary (8) sleeps a little longer. Once she gets up, she eats breakfast, loads the breakfast dishes, and starts her morning routine. She also helps David with his.
