Our Adoption Story – Lynn Family

By: Mandie Lynn

If someone would have asked me 4 years ago if I would ever add to my family through adoption I would of told them they were crazy as we already had 4 children and thought our family was complete.

Oh boy, did God have a different story for our family. God started placing families in our path who had adopted children, especially from foster care, and it began to resonate in my heart.

Three and a half years ago I spoke with my husband, Brian, and we talked it over with the older 4 kids about becoming foster parents with the intention of growing our family through adoption. Everyone was on board and Brian said we could start classes to become foster parents. He said we would take it one step at a time as to see if this is God’s will for our family and if we should proceed down this path past completing the classes. Anyone who knows me knows that if I set out to do something I am all in and my dear sweet husband gently guides us through the process of things, I am the gas pedal and he’s the brakes.

During the process of becoming certified by the state to become foster parents God was working on our hearts. The journey to adoption is not easy one but one that is worth every minute. By the time you get to the end of the classes they tell you to sit down and discuss with your spouse the questions you will ask once you get a placement call and what criteria you will go to base your decision if you will accept a placement or not. We did this. Going in we wanted to be able to give two children a home under the age of 3 with one being a little girl as we had 3 boys and 1 girl already plus we did not want to break up the birth order of our older kids. Once we finished the classes we were told that due to state laws and us already having 4 children we could only foster 1 child, so then our criteria went to an infant little girl. Thankfully God blessed me with an amazing man who would help me discern through my emotions when placement calls would come and we would have to decide in about 10 minutes if we would take a placement or not. I had our questions and criteria ready for when we got a call and then I would listen to the worker on the phone and would want to take every placement even if it did not meet our criteria. While waiting for our first placement call we prayed that God would lead us to the children he wanted to place with us and for the caseworkers that would be involved. We found out we were approved by the cabinet when we received our first of 5 placement calls before we accepted the sixth call.

Our caseworker called us on Thursday, January 31, 2013 and asked if I was sitting down. She said I have a sibling group of 2, a boy who is 23 months and a 9 day old little girl who is still in the NICU at the hospital, that needed a home. After getting all the details I could I said Yes we will take them, but I need to call Brian first to make sure it is okay with him too. I called and he said yes this time. Isn’t God’s timing so perfect? When you say yes the next few days are a whirlwind, people start calling you to make sure you said yes, and workers start setting up times kids will be coming. Our little boy was brought to us that afternoon and he was terrified. We could go see our little girl that evening in the hospital. I never thought I could love a child so much that did not have my DNA but my love for these two little ones came rushing in from the moment I laid eyes on them. And we did not even know if they would be with us forever, but I would love them unconditionally no matter what. This was the first day of many on the fostering roller coaster. We would take them to appointments, pray over them before surgeries needed, even though minor still a major event in a little ones life, love them and attach to them as our own, even our older 4 children attached to them so quickly, and pray God’s will over them. While on this journey our caseworker let us know that the day she called us wasn’t even her day to make placement calls. She had come into the office and heard that they had been trying to place these two sweet kids all day, which is unusual for their age, they were normally placed fairly easy. She went to her supervisor and said she knew a family that would take them if they would write an exception as we would be over the 5 child limit. Now that was divine intervention if you ask me.

We had amazing caseworkers for our family and for the kids. We all wanted what was best for the kids even if that meant we would not be their forever family. This thought terrified me as I wanted them forever but knew going in that the first goal was reunification with the birth family. We had our ups and downs on this roller coaster for 1 year and 9.5 months – which is a short ride in the foster care world. We learned so much as a family during this time and God was working on all of our hearts to trust him and have faith. The milestones in a case knowing that you are getting closer to adoption where being met, goal being changed from reunification to adoption, court hearings for pre-trial, then the TPR, then the 30 day wait to see if an appeal is made by the birth family. We knew early on that we would more than likely be adopting these precious children as the birth family made no attempt on their case plan and did not show up to hearings. This hurts my heart for my kids as one day I will have to explain all of this to them and answer hard questions from the kids. Due to their ages we are all they have known as Dad, Mom, Brothers, and Sisters. Then the day we all had been waiting for had come, Adoption Day! On October 8, 2014 they were officially a Lynn, we could make decisions for them without having to get approval from someone else, and no more worrying if they will be with us forever. This was a glorious day for our entire family and we would hold onto this verse from Psalm 126:3; The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy.

You would think this was the end of our adoption story but God has other plans for us. I’m so grateful he has the perfect plans for us already laid out. After we adopted our sweet kids our older kids asked us when we would be adopting again. That surprised us. After lots of prayer, we are on the adoption journey again. We would foster again but due to the state limitations they closed our home as we have more than 5 kids. We feel called to adopt children from foster care, a sibling group of 4, as sibling groups that size are sometimes split apart. Knowing this we talked with our kids and found out that their birth order was not as big a deal to them as I thought and they were okay with adopting kids their ages. I love their sweet little hearts. So I started searching to see how we could do this financially and if we should go through an agency. At first we tried on our own with our state home study but did not get anywhere. Then God led us to Adoption Assistance, Inc. They started our home study and we started fundraising.

During the home study process we searched websites to see which sibling groups we would inquire on once we were approved. We also had to come up with $1800 to pay for the home study, fingerprints, background checks, and physicals needed. We prayed if this was the path God wanted us on to please help us meet the financial goal and lead us to the siblings we are to God provided financially and we saw 2 groups that we wanted to inquire on from their brief profiles. It did not take as long as I thought it would before we got our approval. On November 12, 2015 we were approved to adopt 4 more children and could start inquiring on sibling groups. We decided to try and adopt from Texas, one reason was because it was our home state where we grew up and the other was because they are okay with larger families adopting kids from their state. So our approval came in and we registered on the Texas website so we could inquire on the original 2 groups we After being registered we were able to see more information on the children and decided to hold off on inquiring on one group but found another group. We submitted our inquiries on 2 groups that after reading their profiles we thought would be a good match. During this time I kept looking at the family that we decided to hold off on inquiring about. God was working on our hearts towards this group. A couple of weeks after inquiring we heard from the caseworkers to submit our home studies. We did.

A week later we heard from one worker stating that they found a family in the region so this family could have monthly visits with family members they were closely bonded too. This news was sad but I understood this group was not for us. God always has a better plan than mine. We still had one more caseworker to hear from. All awhile I was still pondering and asking myself about the one group we did not inquire on. One night I brought up their profile and was talking with Brian again about them. While we were looking at their profile and making the decision on whether or not to inquire on them, our youngest child was up when she should of been sleeping, and asked who they were. l told her their names as I pointed to each of them. She pointed to each of them and asked again their names. As I told her the name she was pointing too, she would say, I ove (love) and that child’s name. At that moment we decided to leave it in God’s hands and inquire on this group too.

Four days after we inquired about the third group we received an email that we were not a match for the second group we inquired on. Again this made us sad but it was not meant to be. I always take this hard and doubt started to set in. We still had not been asked for our home study of the third group yet. I was not as proactive with our fundraising. Partially from doubt and being exhausted from all the things we had going on between the end of our Fundraiser at Thanksgiving to the week before Christmas. Thankfully I have some awesome sisters in Christ who I call my sisters. As doubt was setting in they were reminding me that God has a plan and helping me keep the faith. The journey of adoption can wear on one’s soul. God also was showing me through his word and other ways that I needed to remember to look Him the one who has adopted me. He is growing me in my faith each day as well as growing me in my family.

Six days after receiving the last “you’re not selected” email the caseworker from the third group contacted our agency and cc’d us on the email. She said that for us to be considered as a forever family for this group she needed to verify with our agency that our home study was current, approved, and that we were indeed ready for an adoptive placement. Our agency responded and now we are in the waiting period to see if we are the selected family or not. There are a lot of waiting periods on this journey and as my dear sister said, it is during this time he grows our faith in him. I am not sure if this is the sibling group for us, but God knows and I trust him. While waiting we will continue to raise our beautiful six kids, pray, fundraise, and prepare our home to add four more kids.

I will lean on my life verse, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength – Philippians 4:13. On the journey to adoption you can get weary and doubt things but Jesus will give you the strength to endure. Even with all the ups and downs I would not change one minute of either journey. For anyone that wants to give to our cause we have two fundraising sites:

www.gofundme.com/lynnadoption and www.purecharity.com/lynn-family-adoption.