I had several people ask why I stopped writing, stopped posting, stopped sharing funny stories of my crazy life on the blog and on twitter and facebook. The fact of the matter is:
Sometimes life is really hard, and it is hard to discuss. Sometimes it is hard to discuss with even your spouse. And sometimes social media seems so shallow.
For example, I have a hard time posting that the kids and I just went to Graeter’s for ice cream, when an hour before my daughter calls me crying, from work, to tell me her husband demanded a divorce. It is hard to share pics of the baby learning to crawl and roll over when we spend some time every day discussing heroin, and what it does to families and why their sister’s husband is missing again.
It is hard to post that we have switched to all “real foods” because after spending agonizing hours discussing one child’s behavior and the effects of the foods on his body were causing him to have behavior that caused him to be rejected, and sometimes disliked by his peers. I mean, I know others want to switch to real foods, too, and I want to be their cheerleader- or the one that might make them think “If SHE can do it, I CAN TOO!” but it is just painful.
It’s hard to post about a field trip to the aquarium because in my mind, I am worried about my mama getting ready to undergo dialysis, and my father getting ready to retire, and my father-in-law with blurred vision and dizziness. Right now, I don’t even want to post about church- because our beloved pastor announced he is moving on to another area of ministry, and our family is mourning that, too.
But this week, I decided to go ahead and post what happens, while it is happening, and hope that in some small way, part of my story can encourage you and yours.
You see, in the midst of all these trials, there are a couple of constants. My heavenly father is gracious beyond belief and gives me generously everything I need. I have discovered I need precious little, and have much more than I need in my life. Second, my husband. We talk. We really communicate, and when the going gets tough, I can share my heart with him, my sinful struggles, my desires for righteous ways of thinking, and he understands. He knows. He listens, and he loves. Next, for now, I have the children who are right here with me nearly every moment, often reminding me of what God’s word says, right in the midst of these struggles. And I have my parents. The ones who love me no matter what, and always have.
Also, in the midst is LOTS and LOTS of joy. We laugh a lot, we play a lot, even while we pray a lot. Life is not all serious and gloomy, but then again, if my life is full of ups and downs, probably then, so is yours. Let’s keep posting- the truth. The good, the bad, the ugly so that we may encourage one another- friend, you are not alone. And neither am I.
Dear Malia,
Thank you for being real! Praying!